Self-compassion – the great healer

The topic of ‘shame’ comes up a lot in client sessions at Gaia’s Light. So often I see people holding on to self-limiting beliefs without even realising where these beliefs come from or how much shame is influencing their daily life.

‘Shame’ makes us feel as if we are the actual ‘mistake’ or the ‘thing that happened’ to us. It can make us feel as though we are ‘broken’ or ‘defective’ in some way – which we then equate to being unlovable or unworthy!

That feeling of being ‘unworthy’ then translates to ‘no one would be interested in my story’ – or ‘I’m not good enough to be a …” so you can see how this would ‘limit’ you from living your best expressive version of yourself.

It can be hard to change that thinking when that’s exactly what you’ve been programmed to believe but it is possible to break free from these energetic and emotional shackles. All you need* is a little writing and a whole lot of love and compassion.

Grab your journal …

*Note: As always with these online writing prompts, I don’t want you to delve too deeply into anything traumatic. Some of you may benefit from trauma therapy and a professional team while using this approach as a supportive tool. This is just intended to give you a taster of something that may work for you. From here you might find you want to work with me (or a therapist of your choice) with structure while they hold a safe space.

Creative Block? Or shame, manifesting as fear?

  • Write down something you have always wanted to do but haven’t done yet.
  • Why do you think you’ve not made your dream happen? Write down the things you tell yourself – the things that stop you from achieving that dream or goal.
  • Can you trace back (and write about) your earliest memories of hearing that internal dialogue/external voice? When have you felt judged or blamed?

If you suspect ‘shame’ could be negatively influencing your life …

  • What is your first memory of shame/embarrassment/hearing that negative voice?
  • Where do you feel that emotion in your body?
  • What is your coping mechanism? Do you drink, smoke, over-eat, overwork? Are you a perfectionist? Do you procrastinate?

Just as gratitude can help us heal, so too ‘compassion’ can affect the brain and body

  • Look at your previous answers. Can you see a link between them?
  • Imagine your best friend was telling you all the things you have written down here. What would you say to them? How would you support, comfort or encourage them? Write down all the things you’d say and all the things you’d do to make your friend feel worthy and valued.
  • Read back what you’ve written – and believe the words written there …

Self-compassion is a game changer – I’m here to help you believe in yourself so you can banish shame forever… and then I’ll be here cheering you on as you achieve your heart’s desire.

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