Sometimes we need to shed our skin to grow…

molt to grow - praying mantis

The last few days have been quite the roller coaster of emotions as we left Lorikeet Lane for the last time. I had underestimated how sad we would be and how much of an upheaval for all concerned (except Mr P of course who is not so prone to such sentimentalities). Lorikeet Lane has been a place of healing on so many levels and so it has been a huge wrench to leave it. Mind you, the actual tears for me started to flow when I said goodbye to Betty the horse next door … lol.

We stayed in an Air B&B for a couple of nights while we cleaned and tidied for the new owners. It turns out the mad rush to find a rental needn’t have been quite so frantic since the settlement date has been delayed until 2nd December. Technically we still own Lorikeet Lane and are currently paying a mortgage and rent … (eek).

Instead of putting further pressure on ourselves to find the ideal property, we decided to rent a house near the beach – Long Beach – down at Bateman’s Bay. We are here for 6 months. It’s a four- and a half-hour drive from Sydney and the Central Coast so it does feel very different from ‘home’. The big plan is to rest, heal, and regroup while working and house-hunting. The choice for Bateman’s was simply down to the fact there were so many rentals available here and it is in the middle of a 2-hour radius of all the places we have been looking at to buy. Plus, it’s a pretty holiday spot.

One thing I have noticed already though – I miss being surrounded by trees. It feels strange to be in a house on a street after the relative seclusion of Lorikeet Lane … lol and Angus – well he is totally confused by it all. The beach vibe will be good for a while – for a holiday but I need green/nature around me and ultimately Toni will want to be back in Sydney. At least we have the luxury of time to work it all out instead of rushing into decisions that none of us are quite ready to make.

I have found myself wondering why we sold Lorikeet Lane since I’m so sad … but I just have to remind myself what the greater plan is all about and trust that the Universe will deliver on the perfect property where Gaia’s Light can continue to shine.

The Big Plan

Flatter land for the Angus Boy (he has early onset arthritis) and living on the side of a ridge isn’t so great for him these days.  Also, flatter land for a couple of enclosures (for WIRES) and maybe a duck pond …I still dream of having a horse …oh and a moon garden along with a sensory healing area … so many plans for flatter land.

A change of layout in the house/business – Mr P and I both work from home, but our offices are next door to each other. The nature of our work is so different that I was finding it intrusive to have Peter on work calls next door when I had clients. It’s important that I hold a safe, healing, completely private space, and on the flip side, it never felt fair to send Mr P away with his noise-cancelling headphones on when I was busy. It’s fine when I’m writing, but if I am working with a client, it’s not ideal for either of us. The idea of an outdoor studio or cabin outside has been floated (exciting) so I can expand Gaia’s Light and Write from Source unhindered.

We also have 3 adult kids – I feel strongly they should be able to come and go from our house and stay as often as they want. Lorikeet Lane didn’t really allow for that.

House swaps & visits from family and friends– finally, COVID, etc has meant I have not been ‘home’ to Scotland for over 3 years. We had floated the idea of coming back to Scotland to live but it’s just not the right time. So, we decided on a best-of-both-worlds approach. We want to be able to spend a decent amount of time each year in Scotland where possible so one idea is to do house swaps – so anyone living in Scotland (or the UK/Europe) that fancies a holiday in Australia can swap houses with us. (It’s all registered/regulated etc). This would mean we only had to pay for our flights and accommodation would be free … and the same for anyone coming to Australia. I have to say, the idea of having a place that could accommodate friends fills me with joy.

So, if you were wondering why we are doing all this, these are the things that will keep me motivated when I’m also wondering why we made the decision to turn our lives upside down earlier this year.

Lorikeet Lane gave us a glimpse of what’s possible – and I am so excited about the future opportunities (even if I do feel a little frayed around the edges emotionally right now). Plus this ‘in-between’ place is beautiful. There are Kangaroos literally on the street outside and all around though Toni and I think we are going to have to create hi-vis vests for them because they play chicken with the cars. We have beaches all around (we can see and hear the waves) and we have a dog beach literally at the end of the street. Angus has been loving it. So yes – it feels far from home – but it’s only for a wee while – and it’s not a bad spot to have Christmas and see in the New Year.

There has been a great deal of loss this year along with the feeling of many cycles coming to an end – but with little time to process it all – so perhaps it’s right that we left our bubble when we did. The sea and the waves hold a very different energy from the trees and the earth. It’s hard to move on … but it feels necessary … so we can embrace something even better further down the track. Perhaps that was the message in finding the Praying Mantis exoskeleton outside – it was to remind us we need to shed our skin to grow. An uncomfortable process that leaves us vulnerable, but ultimately it’s a very necessary phase.

Before we left Lorikeet Lane I wandered around and said my goodbyes and thanks in each room. I stood in my studio looking at the walls I had painted, the floorboards I had stained, and thought about the book I had written there and all the other writings and healings. I thought about the clients I met who became friends and conversations held in that room. I realised I wouldn’t be leaving all that behind – I will carry it with me. Along with all the memories, tears, love, laughter and friendships. I wandered around outside and stood in a few special areas of the property – but more on that in my next blog.

So here we are – our in-between place – waiting for our ‘new skin to take shape’. Be warned – I have a feeling there will be many Kangaroo and beach photos to come … once I get out from under all these boxes 😊

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